


Memory

by F2of95line



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Drama, M/M, Memory Loss, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 15:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14167989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F2of95line/pseuds/F2of95line
Summary: Taeyong meets Yuta and little by little, he begins to fall for the bright, beautiful Japanese man. But something keeps bothering him... he's sure he's seen Yuta somewhere before...





	1. Chapter 1

Lee Taeyong holds the door open for his boss as the workers dutifully file in for the company dinner. The company president was in the mood for sushi and the employees were forced to go along, despite Taeyong wanting nothing more than to go home and pass out in bed.

Thank god for the weekend.

“Lee Taeyong, come on, order something!” his boss slaps his back and Taeyong manages a weak, respectful grin.

“Y- Yes, sir.”

His eyes wander the page, but he can’t bring himself to actually think of what to order. He’s more tired than hungry, and finally, he settles for a small set of takoyaki. His boss just shakes his head.

“You need to eat more,” he scolds as the other workers titter amongst themselves. “You’re becoming skin and bones!”

“Sorry, I-” Taeyong pauses when he feels a strange sense of déjà vu. “Sorry, sir. I’ll… I’m just kind of full from lunch.”

“Why don’t we have a drink?” one of Taeyong’s coworkers, Yeri, suggests. “To get everyone in the mood!”

“Excellent idea, Yeri!” the boss praises. “A bottle of sake here!”

Taeyong can’t stop the uncomfortable feeling from washing over him once more and shakes his head as he downs his shot.

* * *

Finally, after what feels like forever, Taeyong stumbles home, ready to pass out, weary from the day, but he yelps when he feels a light smack against his calf.

“Come on!”

“Ughhh, I’m tired!” Taeyong whines. “Leave me alone, Jaehyun!”

“Have you forgotten?” his typically calm roommate demands, frantically buttoning up his shirt. “It’s Doyoung’s birthday today!”

Taeyong’s head shoots up as he curses rather magnificently. Jaehyun is already flitting around, frantically checking his reflection in the mirror.

“Do I look okay? Does this shirt look okay? No, actually, it’s not, I’m going to change and-”

“Dude, chill,” Taeyong lightly pats his shoulder. “Seriously, you look good. Let’s get going, I’m exhausted from today. I’m going to have  _one_  drink, wish Doyoung a happy birthday, and then run out.”

“Oh come on,” Jaehyun pouts, fixing his collar. “Have some decency, would you? This is the man I’m probably spending the rest of my life with.”

“Ugh, come on,” Taeyong sighs. “You know how I feel about that sort of talk.”

“Seriously, Taeyong-hyung,” Jaehyun insists. “You’ll see. One day, you’re going to meet someone and think how you can’t live without them. And I’ll say ‘I told you so’.”

“Yeah, yeah… Can we go?”

* * *

“Happy birthday!”

Kim DongYoung smiles happily, accepting the prettily wrapped box from Johnny. “What is it?!”

“Open it!” Johnny grins as he offers shots all around the table. Taeyong blinks when he sees the additional shot of tequila next to him.

“Uh, Youngho, I think you might have miscounted,” he shouts over the pounding music, ignoring Doyoung’s excited shrieks ( _“It’s SHINee’s newest album!”_ ). “There are only five of us!”

“I invited my new roommate!” Johnny yells back, bobbing his head to the pounding bass. “He should be here any- oh, there he is!  _Yuta! Over here!_ ”

Taeyong cringes as Johnny bellows as one should in a crowded nightclub, despite not seeming to realize that Taeyong’s ear is literally right next to Johnny’s booming voice.

The pretty Korean man sighs as he turns… and stares at the Japanese man who approaches them.

He and the man named Yuta just gaze at each other, and something… Taeyong’s not sure what it is, but something inside him feels heavy and warm, and  _familiar_.

“Yu…ta?” the name is strange (Taeyong dumbly acknowledges that it’s not a Korean name) but somehow still  _nostalgic_  on his tongue. Yuta looks hesitant but in that split second, Johnny (who’s already drunk) reaches over and uses one long arm to yank Yuta in to their booth, shoving him up against Taeyong.

“Come on, stop making googly eyes at Taeyong and have a seat!” Johnny booms. Ten embarrassedly yanks his boyfriend down, whispering either threats or dirty words (possibly both) into his ear.

Taeyong still can’t tear his eyes away from the beautiful Japanese man, with his single earring and colored hair and scent of roasted chestnuts and-

_“Excuse me!”_

Taeyong jolts when he realizes he had been leaning in closely to the shocked foreigner, whose eyes are wide and he scrambles away, eyes equally blown. A Japanese apology rolls off his tongue, his cheeks hot.

What was he thinking?! Despite how tired he is, he can’t just approach someone this attractive like some pervert!

Yuta definitely looks uncomfortable now, and downs the shot of tequila in front of him. Taeyong follows suit, and hesitates. The rest of their table is already extremely drunk (Jaehyun is drunkenly crooning a lullaby to his enamored boyfriend, Johnny is groaning and leaning his head back and Ten… Taeyong inches away when he realizes he can’t see Ten and Johnny looks a  _little_  too happy, head leaning back).

The still sober salaryman loosens his necktie slightly before clearing his throat and turning to Yuta.

**_“Sorry_** _,”_  the Japanese rolls off his tongue like an old friend.  _“ **I’m really tired so I didn’t realize I was nodding off.”**_

Yuta’s eyes widen in surprise.  ** _“You can speak Japanese!”_**

**_“I lived in Osaka for five years.”_ **

**_“You’re kidding!_ ”** Yuta’s defensive stance relaxes and he smiles in a way that once again, gives Taeyong the strange feeling of deja-vu.  _“ **Where at?”**_

**_“I lived in Sakai-shi,”_** Taeyong says hesitantly.  ** _“Have you heard of it?”_**

Yuta’s eyes widen once more, this time almost scarily.  ** _“Are you kidding right now? That’s where I’m from.”_**

**_“Oh weird,”_** Taeyong tilts his head.  ** _“Well, I liked it a lot.”_**

The two of them share a warm grin and Taeyong has to blink a few times as his vision swims.

-

**_“Taeyong-ah! Come on, let’s dance!”_ **

-

**“ _…yong-san? Taeyong-san?”_**

Taeyong snaps out of his funk, shaking his head. Seriously, he needs to drink more coffee or something.

**_“Sorry,”_**  he apologizes again.  _“ **I think I’d better go. I really am more tired than I realized.”**_

Yuta nods in disappointment, and Taeyong hesitates.

**_“Would you…?”_**  he hesitates.  ** _“Would you be interested in language exchange or something? I haven’t spoken Japanese in almost two years. It’d be great to practice again.”_**

**_“Yes, of course!_ ”** Yuta’s eyes light up.  ** _“It’d be great to practice for me too!”_**

The two of them exchange Kakao IDs and both of them end up leaving when they see Doyoung and Jaehyun furiously making out (Ten is still nowhere to be seen, but Taeyong thinks they’ll be forgiven for leaving before bidding his friend farewell).

* * *

**“ _Would you like a ride home?_** ” Taeyong offers, indicating towards his car. Yuta hesitates and Taeyong quickly lifts his hands.

“I- It’s okay if you don’t!” he slips back into his comfortable Korean when he sees the doubting look on the pretty Japanese man’s face. “I just… I just wanted to offer!”

Yuta then smiles at him, and Taeyong feels the wind knocked out of him. If he thought Yuta was handsome with a straight face, his smile looks like it could make a cranky baby giggle.

His smile is  _healing_.

“Thank you,” Yuta responds in Korean, not as smooth but clear enough. “Yeah, I guess it’s probably better if I go by car at this time of night.”

* * *

The car is silent and Taeyong finds himself drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, clearing his throat.

“Your, um, your car is very clean,” Yuta finally speaks up, tone polite. Taeyong nods.

“Thank you. I always need to make sure my space is clean.”

“Yeah, it smells like Febreze in here,” Yuta sniffs. “Hawaiian Aloha, if I’m not mistaken.”

Taeyong starts in surprise. “How do you know that? That  _is_  the scent I use.”

Yuta pauses, looking just as surprised as the Korean man. “I… I don’t know, I just…”

He falls silent, looking away, and if Taeyong had seen his expression, he would’ve seen the confusion and turmoil on his face. The air between them grows even more uncomfortable, neither of them wanting to admit the very creepy truth that they might have some sort of strange bond.

“Do you… Do you play any sports?” Taeyong latches on quickly, changing the subject to avoid any more awkward tension. Yuta relaxes.

“Y- Yeah, I do. I played soccer when I was younger.”

“That’s cool. I love soccer; maybe all of us can play together sometime,” Taeyong turns onto a one-way street. “Which way from here?”

“Oh, just up a little way,” Yuta points. “Make a right at the second white sign.”

Taeyong focuses on the road, but still feels hyperaware of Yuta leaning in closer to him to get a better gaze of the road.

“O- Over here?” he starts to turn, but Yuta quickly grabs the steering wheel, right where Taeyong’s hand is.

“No, at the next one, not here!”

Taeyong stares at the hand on his own and Yuta doesn’t seem to notice… until he does and he quickly snatches his hand back to himself as if burned. Taeyong just continues to stare at his hand, where Yuta’s was-

-

**_“Tyong, why do your hands feel so thin? Seriously, they feel like a grandmother’s hands.”_ **

-

Taeyong is forced to pull his car over to the side, taking a few deep breaths. Yuta doesn’t say anything and the car once again is in silence.

“I- I’m sorry,” Taeyong shakes his head. “I promise I’ll get you home safely, I don’t know why-”

**“ _Your hands_ ,”** Yuta speaks up just then, his Osaka dialect strong and unashamed this time.  **“ _They felt familiar.”_**

Taeyong doesn’t say anything, just continuing to collect himself in the driver’s seat until he’s sure he’s good. He nods assuredly (more to himself than anything) and turns to Yuta, pretending he didn't hear what Yuta had just said.

“You said a right at the next white sign, right?”

* * *

Even though Taeyong would’ve been fine just dropping Yuta off and leaving, the Japanese man offers a coffee at least, so Taeyong can drive home more alert than he currently is.

Taeyong reluctantly accepts, and enters the small, homey apartment. Yuta bustles to the kitchen, and soon, the smell of brewing coffee fills Taeyong’s senses, and he feels himself easing on the squishy, comfortable sofa. He hangs his jacket in the hallway and looks around; it’s not his first time over at Johnny’s place, but for some reason, Yuta’s addition of items should make it more unfamiliar, but once again, Taeyong is just hit with nostalgia.

“Here you are,” Yuta breaks his train of thought as he places a white teacup in front of him.  **“ _Douzo_.”**

Taeyong takes a sip and blinks. “It’s… very sweet.”

Yuta blinks back and reaches out. “Sorry, I don’t know why I added so much sugar. I’ll-”

“I drink my coffee very sweet,” Taeyong interrupts. “ _Thank you._ ”

Yuta’s hands drop and he looks down until he looks back up. “Yeah, I… I knew that for some reason.”

The two of them don’t say anything, until finally, Taeyong lowers his cup.

**“ _This… This might be… weird to say,_ ”** he says carefully.  ** _“But… I don’t remember why I came back to Korea.”_**

Yuta’s eyebrows furrow.  _“ **What do you mean?”**_

**_“I mean obviously, I remember buying my ticket and getting on the plane and landing and everything. But… after I started working and everything… people asked me why I left Japan. And… I don’t remember. I don’t remember exactly what the reason was. I remember I was happy in Osaka, and I remember going to Universal Studios and to see cherry blossoms and haunted houses and takoyaki, but… I don’t remember why I would leave that.”_ **

Yuta doesn’t say anything, but finally looks up.  **“ _I don’t know why I came to Korea either, but… I don’t know, one day out of nowhere, Korea just looked like such an appealing place. And my friend Sana was fluent in Korean, so she encouraged me to go.”_**

**_“Sana?”_**  Taeyong’s eyebrows furrow.  ** _“That sounds… That sounds familiar.”_**

**_“Yeah?”_  **Yuta’s voice grows eager.  ** _“Maybe that’s how we know each other. Maybe you knew Sana and we bumped into each other or something. Minatozaki Sana?”_**

Taeyong feels the similar blast of nostalgia.  ** _“I…”_**

He’s broken out of his chain of thought when they hear the front door downstairs being opened forcefully.

“Seriously,” Ten’s voice echoes and floats up. “C- Calm down… calm down, Youngho! Save it for the bedroom!”

“I can’t wait,” Johnny’s voice is rough and deep, and Taeyong’s panicked eyes shoot to Yuta. The Japanese man scoops up the teacup and ushers Taeyong into the kitchen, just as the front door to the apartment opens.

The tall Korean-American is furiously making out with his smaller Thai boyfriend and the two of them probably wouldn’t have even noticed if Taeyong and Yuta had been having a full-on rave in the living room. Taeyong cringes when he can hear Johnny’s deep moans and Ten’s high-pitched whimpers; even though he loves his friends, it’s not dissimilar to hearing his parents get freaky.

It’s only after he hears the hallway door slam, followed by the telltale click, does his eyes widen.

“W- Wait, my coat’s in the hall!” he hisses frantically. “My  _keys_  are in there!”

**“ _Grab it later!_ ”** Yuta whispers back, the discomfort making him slip back into Japanese.  **“ _Why did that idiot lock the hall door, he could’ve just gone into his bedroom!”_**

“His bedroom door doesn’t lock,” Taeyong explains softly as he peers into the living room, trying to see the hallway door. “Maybe he didn’t lock it…”

Only after jiggling the knob a few times does he confirm with horror, yes, his poor jacket is locked inside the hallway, and chances are probably very good he won’t be getting it back until tomorrow morning.

He turns to see Yuta, looking pensive. Taeyong swallows. He wants to ask, but he knows it’s too forward, there’s no way-

“Would you like to stay the night?”

Taeyong silently thanks the fact that his face always shows expressions that are too readable.

* * *

Yuta offers between the pull-out sofa and air mattress (neither of which sound very comfortable), so Taeyong nobly settles for the more uncomfortable-sounding air mattress. The two of them lay in the living room in silence, listening to the creaking of the bedsprings in the next room and their friends frantically mating like it’s the end of the world.

Taeyong clears his throat and rolls over to his side… only to see Yuta staring at him. The Japanese man quickly flushes.

“I- I have to sleep on my side, sorry,” he says hurriedly. “I wasn’t staring at you or anything.”

Taeyong shakes his head. “It’s okay. I wanted to ask… earlier, you mentioned Minatozaki Sana.”

“Yeah,” Yuta says quickly, sounding slightly eager. “Does it ring a bell?”

Taeyong frowns, furrowing his brow. “It definitely does… I just… I just don’t know why I can’t remember. It’s like… It’s like, I  _know_  that name, I know it for sure, and I can even imagine what she looks like. I just don’t remember  _how_  I know her.”

“Hmm…” Yuta leans back. “Well, I’m going to message her in the morning. Maybe she’ll know.”

Taeyong just stares when he realizes what Yuta’s laying on. “You don’t use a pillow either?”

Yuta blinks and turns to him. “No, I don’t… you don’t either?”

“I stopped when I was in Japan,” Taeyong shrugs. “I don’t know why, I think I heard somewhere that it’s healthier to sleep without a pillow, and then I just got used to it.”

“It is!” Yuta smiles happily. “I keep telling people! Wow, that’s awesome, I’m glad to see someone else agrees.”

The two of them share a warm glance, and before long, Taeyong can feel his eyelids grow heavy.

**_“Good night_ ,”** Yuta whispers and Taeyong lets the same phrase slip past his lips as he slowly drifts off.

That night, he dreams of earrings, roasted chestnuts, and a voice, teasing him about using a pillow in an Osaka accent.

* * *

Taeyong slowly wakes up to the smell of frying eggs and the sun beating down on his face. He scrunches his eyes and stretches uncomfortably on the air mattress as he takes a few seconds to catch his bearings.

Yuta pops his head out of the kitchen. “Good morning.”

Taeyong blinks a few times. “You’re cooking?”

Yuta apparently takes offense to the doubtful look on the Korean man’s face. “Oho, not you too. Everyone keeps calling me a disaster in the kitchen, but I at least know how to make fried eggs!”

Taeyong isn’t sure why, but he remains skeptical, even when he goes in and sees the pretty fried egg, burbling and snapping cheerfully in the pan. Taeyong suddenly sniffs.

“Wait…”

His gut instinct is correct when later, they’re eating scraped eggs, still runny and wet on one side, and completely burnt on the other.

“Seriously, why did I get my hopes up,” Taeyong mutters but then freezes. He doesn’t understand why he’s acting like this – Yuta isn’t his  _friend_. They met  _yesterday_ , and yet he talks so casually around him.

Yuta does look somewhat offended and Taeyong bows his head.

“I… I’m sorry. I’m not usually this rude. I don’t know why, I just feel really… I don’t know,  _comfortable_  around you.”

Yuta doesn’t look appeased and Taeyong clears his throat.

**_“Did you reach out to your friend? Sana-san?”_ **

**_“Yes, I did_ ,”** Yuta relaxes.  ** _“She hasn’t answered yet though. Although… I did mean to ask… I never asked you, why did you choose to move to Japan?”_**

Taeyong pauses for a second, before shrugging.  ** _“I went to live with my sister. She was born there so she lives there now.”_**

**_“Oh… maybe I know her. What’s her name?”_ **

**_“…you… uh, probably do know her,”_** Taeyong hesitates.  ** _“Her name is Lee Ahyoomee.”_**

Yuta’s brow furrows.  ** _“That doesn’t sound familiar.”_**

**_“She… Her stage name is Iconiq.”_ **

Yuta’s eyes shoot open.  ** _“You’re Iconiq’s_ brother _?! The singer?!”_**

Taeyong scratches his head awkwardly.  ** _“Yeah, I mean… yeah.”_**

Yuta shakes his head.  ** _“I’d like to say I have some connection to Iconiq, but I’ve only been to her concert and that’s as close as I’ve gotten.”_**

**_“Oh are you a fan?”_ **

**_“No, Sana is,”_** Yuta explains as he sprinkles pepper on his eggs. “ ** _She wants to be a singer, just like her.”_**

He offers the pepper to Taeyong, who declines. The two of them continue to eat in peaceful silence, until Yuta reaches into his pocket.

**“ _Oh, it’s Sana. She…”_**

He fades off, and wrinkles his forehead when he reads the text from Sana.

**Sana: _Call me. Now._**

* * *

“ ** _Yo.”_**

**_“Yuta-pyon! I miss you!”_ **

Yuta chuckles as he hears Sana’s cheerful voice.  ** _“I miss you too, Sana-chan. What’s going on?”_**

**_“Tell me about your friend,”_** Sana’s voice is still light, but Yuta’s been friends with this girl since childhood, and knows an edge has crept in.  ** _“What did you say his name was?”_**

**_“Lee Taeyong. He… I don’t know what it is, Sana-chan. Something just feels really familiar with this guy. I don’t know… he said your name sounded familiar. Do you know him?”_ **

Yuta can practically  _see_  his closest girl friend fidgeting.  ** _“I… No, I don’t think so. How’d you meet him anyways?”_**

**_“My new roommate’s friends with him… my roommate invited me to a birthday party and… I don’t know, I just felt like I’ve seen him somewhere. And he’s from Sakai-shi, so I’m sure we’ve probably met sometime! You speak Korean, right? Did you maybe bring him over when we lived together or something?”_ **

**_“No, sorry,”_** Sana says quickly.  ** _“His name doesn’t ring a bell.”_**

**_“But then why’d you ask me to call you?”_** Yuta persists.

**_“Because… Because I miss you,”_** Sana tries to say happily.  ** _“Silly… anyways, when are you coming back to Japan? I miss our takoyaki nights!”_**

**_“I’ll come back to visit, but… I don’t know, I’m happy here. Other than this weird guy, Korea’s exactly how I imagined it’d be! The food is good, the clubs are fun… and the guys are cute too_** ,” Yuta says teasingly. He can hear Sana’s giggle, and it relaxes his heart.

**_“Anyways, I’d better go. This Taeyong dude slept over last night and-”_ **

**_“Wait, WHAT?!_** ” Sana yelps.  ** _“Yuta-pyon!”_**

**_“Nothing happened!”_** Yuta says defensively.  ** _“Geez, I just met the dude, Sana-chan, calm down!”_**

**_“Just… Just be careful,”_**  Sana begs, and Yuta has to ask.

**_“Sana-chan… is there something you’re not telling me?”_ **

**_“I… I have to go,”_  **Sana says hurriedly.  ** _“I’ll call you later, okay?”_**

Yuta tries to argue, but his phone jingles with the short tune saying that Sana’s hung up on him.

* * *

Sana frantically calls a number she hasn’t called in a long time. She isn’t even sure if this woman will pick up but-

**_“Hello?”_ **

“Unni,” Sana swallows. “Unni, they met.”

“…Sana-chan?” Lee Ahyoomee’s voice sounds confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Yuta-pyon went to Korea a month ago and I didn’t think it was likely to happen but… it looks like he ran into Tyong.”

Ahyoomee releases a breath. “Well… I guess for now, we can’t really do anything.”

“But-”

“It’s okay,” Ahyoomee’s voice is firm but gentle. “This might be a good thing. Maybe… Maybe it can make up for the mistake we made.”

And Minatozaki Sana can’t stop from shedding the silent tears as she mourns the secret that she must hide from her closest childhood friend.

* * *

It’s been almost three months, and Yuta and Taeyong have dutifully been meeting up once a week to practice Taeyong’s Japanese (Yuta insists the Korean man doesn’t need any practice, he’s already good), and to help Yuta with Korean (“ _Just the nuances! Otherwise, your Korean’s perfect!”_ ).

Neither of them, however, want to admit the very clear truth that  _something_  is there between them. Their friends continue to rib them and ask when their official first day of dating is, and although Taeyong laughs it off, he can’t help but feel hopeful, when he sees Yuta has a similar blush.

* * *

A few weeks later, Taeyong pulls up at the hotel his sister is staying in. Iconiq is having another Asia tour and he promised his sister he’d support her for the Korean leg of it. He turns to Yuta, apologetic expression on his face.

“Seriously, I’m sorry. I’m just going to greet my sister and then we can go to a café and practice the tongue twisters.”

“It’s fine, seriously,” Yuta waves a hand. “It’d be cool, honestly, to meet  _the_  Iconiq.”

He pauses. “Are you… okay?”

Taeyong takes a deep breath. “Yeah, just… just a little nervous.”

Yuta laughs (like the sun, Taeyong dumbly thinks), his smile warm. “To see your sister? Has it really been that long?”

Taeyong smiles back weakly, and when Yuta turns away from him to take his seatbelt off, Taeyong can’t help a soft smile at him.

Although Yuta doesn’t realize it, Taeyong intends on asking him out today, once they get to the café. He’ll casually bring up dinner, and when Yuta accepts… Taeyong will take him to a restaurant where he's already planned things out, and then he'll ask to be allowed to court him.

Although his stomach roils from nervousness, he looks forward to Yuta’s answer, mainly because he hopes and slightly knows, deep down, that Yuta holds some form of interest.

He holds the door open for the other man and the two enter the hotel. Taeyong furrows his brow. Even though nothing’s wrong, something feels… off.

Like a strange, stirring sense of premonition.

“Taeyong? Come on, let’s go,” Yuta holds the elevator open. “Which floor?”

“T- Top,” Taeyong shakes off the weird feeling. “Yeah, let’s go.”

* * *

When they get to Taeyong’s sister’s room, they can hear two women talking inside the room and Taeyong frowns.

“Hm, maybe she’s busy…” he knocks anyhow (he came all this way when he could’ve been alone with Yuta, there’s no way he’s going to be polite and come back later) and waits for the door to open.

He’s not expecting the person on the other side. When he catches sight of long hair and pretty eyes, he gapes. He knows this person.

He knows this person.

_He knows this person..._

**_“Sana-ko?!”_ **

_“Tyong!”_  she gasps, eyes wide. Her eyes dart from Taeyong to Yuta, and she quickly attempts to shut the door, but Yuta stops it with his foot.

“ ** _Wait, Sana-chan!? What the hell is going on? Why are you here?! And how do you know Taeyong? And-!”_**

He stops when he hears Taeyong’s choked gasps.

“Taeyong? Taeyong, what’s wr-?!”

Taeyong collapses to the floor, choking and clutching his heart. He knows.

He remembers.

_He remembers._


	2. 2/2

The four of them sit inside the hotel room, silence overtaking the four of them. Yuta’s the first one to speak up, frustrated that he’s clearly the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on.

“All right,” he says, voice shaky. “I want to know. What’s happening? Why did you lie to me? You…”

He turns to Taeyong accusingly. “You said you didn’t know Sana.”

“I… I thought I didn’t,” Taeyong whimpers, and Sana interrupts.

“Leave him alone, Yuta-pyon,” she orders. “He’s… He’s probably going through a lot right now.”

“ ** _Probably not as much as I am!”_** Yuta roars in Japanese, standing up. He’s not normally one to be so open with his expressions, but the past few months have been confusing and stressful, and he just wants to  _know_.  ** _“Why does everyone in this room know what’s going on but me?!”_**

 ** _“Lower your voice, please_** ,” Ahyoome speaks up for the first time, voice sharp.  ** _“I understand you’re upset, but my brother’s psyche is delicate right now. He’s just discovered something traumatizing.”_**

**_“Which is!?”_ **

Sana’s eyes shine with unshed tears.  ** _“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I… this is all my fault. I should’ve said something…”_**

**_“Said what?!”_ **

Taeyong, surprisingly, speaks up.

**_“…I loved you.”_ **

Yuta’s head snaps to him, eyes blown. “ ** _What the fu-?!”_**

“ ** _You were in love with each other,”_**  Ahyoomee corrects, voice monotone. She sounds resigned and her expression is tired. Sana turns to her in panic, but the older woman shakes her head.

“ ** _There’s no point hiding it anymore. The two of you were in love.”_**

 ** _“Then how come I don’t remember?!”_**  Yuta demands.  ** _“I never saw this guy before I came to Korea!”_**

 ** _“You were in love… but you didn’t realize you both felt the same way. And so…”_** Ahyoomee hesitates to continue, and Yuta opens his mouth to keep yelling.

**_“You both caught hanahaki disease.”_ **

Suddenly, Yuta realizes that he didn’t want to know this, after all.

* * *

_“Ugh, seriously, Sana-chan, you can just see Iconiq on TV. Why are we here?”_

_“Stop it!” Sana frowned seriously, waving her Iconiq towel. “My dream is to be just like her! I have to see what she’s like live so I can be like her in the future!”_

_Yuta looked around, expression disinterested. “I’m going to the bathroom.”_

_“Okay!” Sana was already gazing at the stage, eyes glittering. “Come back quickly!”_

_Yuta sighed as he struggled his way out of the crowd. He listlessly looked around before walking towards what he assumed was the restroom._

_Although he didn’t find the restroom, he did find…_

_“Oh cool!” Yuta practically drooled when he caught sight of the takoyaki cart at the edge of the stadium. Because of Sana shrieking at him since early that morning that they had to get seats, he hadn’t been able to eat breakfast. He propped himself up on a seat, ignoring the other person that was sitting at the cart, hunched over._

_“Welcome!” the cart owner got him started with a takoyaki pan and Yuta eagerly swung his legs, stomach growling, friend completely forgotten. Sana was important, but so was satiating his appetite._

_He practically inhaled the first pan of hot, piping takoyaki, before happily ordering another one. During that time, he could see the man next to him down a small cup, a bottle of sake on the side. Yuta curiously gazed at him, but shrugged and went back to his beloved takoyaki._

_Beloved, until he burned his mouth on the freshly picked ball. He choked, cursing his eager self that didn’t bother to wait for it to cool. He fanned his mouth frantically, and grasped his cup of water, downing it to kill the burn._

_…until the burn increased._

_“Ow!” he yelped, as the burn of the sake he had just gulped in one shot clashed with the heat in his mouth. Out of nowhere, a cup of cool water was shoved into his hand and he hastily swallowed it, releasing a sigh of relief._

_“You okay?”_

_Yuta turned and felt the blood rush to his face. The man who was hunched over earlier was gazing at him, eyebrow raised, and Yuta could only gape._

**_You look like an idiot, but can’t blame you,_ ** _his mind snickered. **He’s hot.**_

_Yuta would have been stupid to think differently – with this man’s piercing gaze, dark hair, and sharp jawline, it would have been a straight lie to call this man anything but drop-dead gorgeous._

_“S- Sorry!” Yuta gasped when he realized that the burning liquid he had just gulped down had belonged to this man. “I thought that was my cup of water, let me buy you a new drink.”_

_He thought the man would protest, but to his surprise, the man grinned. “Okay.”_

_Yuta blinked. “O- Okay?”_

_“It’s no fun drinking by myself. Drink with me.”_

_By the end of the night, the two men were happily sharing takoyaki and bottles of sake, Iconiq’s concert blasting in full-gear behind them._

* * *

“Why… Why didn’t I just tell him?” Yuta asks hollowly. “Or why…? I thought the surgery for hanahaki just makes you lose your feelings, not memories.”

“Oh, Yuta-pyon…” Sana’s expression is so apologetic, so  _sad._  Yuta doesn’t remember the last time he’s seen that sort of expression on his friend’s face. “The surgery… Yuta-pyon, you wouldn’t remember, but you were so heartbroken because Tyong had left for Korea, so…”

Sana gulps, trying to hold back tears.

“The typical surgery just removes the flower so that you lose all your feelings, but Yuta-pyon, you… you were so _sad_  without him. The doctors apparently opened your heart and the flower… the petals had gone past full development. Your feelings were so deep, the petals had already begun shredding each other. They said it was better for you if they just removed the whole thing, from the root, but in exchange, you’d forget about him completely.”'

"...but it turns out that was in waste," Ahyoomee speaks up, expression not as tearful, but no less sad. "He loved you too."

* * *

_“No.”_

_“But-!”_

_Lee Taeyong simply raised an eyebrow to imply the end of their conversation, and his older sister sighed, distress evident on her face._

_“For all you know, he could feel the same way too!”_

_“Don’t,” Taeyong begged in a hiss, but it came out more as a cough as he struggled to stop the delicate petals from overflowing out of his mouth. He was unable to stop a few floral strands from spurting out, however, and he clapped a hand over his mouth, resisting the urge to throw up._

_Despite how much he liked the clean, fresh scent of nature, the cloying odor of flora invading his every single waking moment made him nauseous at this point. Ahyoomee picked up one of the petals that had fallen on the floor, eying it curiously._

_“What kind of flower is this?”_

_Taeyong looked down, pretending the tears that sprang up in his eyes came from choking on the orange petals that just wouldn’t stop._

_“Taeyong,” Ahyoomee repeated, struggling to keep her voice steady. “What kind of flower is this?”_

_“…marigold,” the man slumped as he looked down, and Ahyoomee felt her heart hurt in pity when she saw her baby brother, who everyone already knew as a softie deep down, struggle not to cry. Ahyoomee silently pulled out her phone to look up the meaning of the flower._

_There was silence and Taeyong felt inexplicably ashamed as Ahyoomee read it before taking a deep breath._

_“It’s Yuta, isn’t it?”_

_Taeyong’s blood froze and he looked up in panic, hoping his sheer horror wasn’t evident on his face._

_“Marigold,” Ahyoomee read aloud. “It means two things: ‘Despair and grief over the loss of love’, and ‘The beauty and warmth of the rising sun’.”_

_“Don’t tell him,” was all Taeyong managed to beg before he was choking once more. The blond celebrity just shook her head._

_“You’re insane,” she managed to say before Taeyong finally couldn’t take it anymore, and ran to the bathroom, where he finally expelled the petals that had gotten trapped in his heart._

_-_

_“Tae, Tae, Lee Taeyong!”_

_Taeyong looked up to see the cause of his misery for the past few days, and couldn’t help a grin as he waved to his friend._

_“Yukkuri~” he sang back and Yuta slung an arm over his friend’s shoulders._

_“Hey there,” Yuta said, buoyant and happy as ever. “How was your lecture?”_

_Taeyong groaned. “Don’t even get me started. The professor stressed us all out today and reminded me oh so kindly that if I fail the next test, I fail the class.”_

_Yuta shook his head. “I don’t get you… why’d you want to study business anyways? That’s so boring!”_

_Taeyong didn’t say anything for a moment before managing a brief grin. “Like you’re doing so well in school.”_

_“Jerk,” Yuta lightly shoved the man. “You can make it up to me by cooking me dinner.”_

_Taeyong raised an eyebrow. “Come again?”_

_Yuta finally groaned and rubbed his forehead. “Can I please come over, oh great and generous Taeyong-sama? Sana-chan has a final coming up and she’s super-stressed. I feel like me being there is just giving her a headache.”_

_“So you’re being a good roommate to Sana-ko, but a moocher to me,” Taeyong rolled his eyes. “Real cute, Yukkuri.”_

_“I’ll remember to bring the Febreeze,” Yuta sighed._

_“Don’t forget, I prefer-”_

_“Hawaiian Aloha, but if they don’t have it, you’re okay with the cranberry. Yeah, I remember,” Yuta rolled his eyes. “I swear you’re like my mother.”_

_Taeyong hmphed, crossing his arms. “If you weren’t so all over the place, I wouldn’t have to act like your mother.”_

_“Oh come on,” Yuta teasingly bumped Taeyong’s hip. “Don’t pretend like you don’t love cooking for me.”_

_“I don’t,” Taeyong responded with a straight face and Yuta scowled at him._

_“Oh come on! You just hate it because I actually make you eat! You need to eat more, you’re skin and bones!”_

_Taeyong just sighed, and almost stopped in his tracks when he felt the telltale tickle in his throat._

_“Taeyo-?” Yuta curiously began but Taeyong quickly swallowed heavily._

_“Hey, I got to go, okay?” Taeyong turned away, not noticing Yuta’s dejected expression. “Come over later, I guess.”_

_Yuta just watched his friend leave, a sad smile on his face. When he parted his lips, a single red petal slid out from under his tongue, silently gliding to the ground._

* * *

“But…”Ahyoomee continues. “What both you and Sana-chan didn’t realize, Yuta-kun, is that Taeyong had returned to Korea because he wanted to get the surgery for himself.”

* * *

_Sana hurriedly dashed into the izakaya, ignoring the leers from perverted old men near her. She ran towards the man who was half-slumped over the bar._

_“Yuta-pyon…” she said hesitantly, and Yuta blearily looked up, grinning blankly as he nursed his bottle of sake._

_“Sana-chaaaaaaan,” he sang. “What are you doing here?”_

_“You called me,” Sana explained, trying to pull him. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”_

_Yuta shook her off, lazily grinning. “Can’t. I’m druuuuunk.”_

_“Yuta!” Sana’s voice held an edge. “I… I heard about Tyong… he’s going back to Korea, isn’t he? So why don’t you just tell him?! What’s the worst that could happen?”_

_“…he could be disgusted with me,” Yuta whimpered, and Sana felt her heart ache when she saw the carefree grin slide off his face. A scared expression replaced the smile on the usually free-spirited man. “He could… He could tell me he doesn’t feel the same way and I… I don’t want that.”_

_“But Yuta-”_

_“He… Sana-chan, what should I do? Please… tell me,” Yuta looked up, eyes clear and sparkling with tears. He trembled, looking very frail. “I… If he tells me he doesn’t feel the same way, I think I could really… I think I might really die.”_

_“Yuta-!”_

_Yuta choked suddenly, grasping his throat in panic as he turned pale, coughing out a plethora of flowers. He gagged, fighting for air as Sana frantically slapped his back._

_“Oi! That’s disgusting, stop it!” the izakaya employee scowled. “Get him out of here!”_

_Sana ignored the bellowing man as she gazed at the red flower petals strewn at her feet and tilted her head. “These are…?”_

_“Carnations,” Yuta wheezed as he leaned back, closing his eyes in exhaustion. “Red carnations.”_

_Sana silently looked it up on her phone as Yuta plummeted face-first onto the sticky table. She pretended she didn’t his quaking body and sighed as she read the meaning aloud. “’My heart aches for you’.”_

_“I’m so pathetic, Sana-chan,” Yuta suddenly brought his head up, leaning it backwards. To Sana’s shock, he began to laugh, letting a tear trail out of the corner of his eyes. “I could just tell him and get the rejection over with, but… but I don’t want that. I could take anything except for… except for Taeyong telling me no.”_

_Sana just knelt down and silently wrapped her arms around her friend. Yuta’s body shook with laughs that soon morphed into unmistakable weeping. He accepted her hug and buried his face into her shoulder._

_“I love him!” Yuta sobbed, shaking hands clutching onto her smaller body desperately. “I… I love him so, so much!”_

_“I know,” Sana whispered. “Yuta-pyon… let him go. He’s going back to Korea… get the surgery, please. If Taeyong saying no to you would kill you that much, you need to get that surgery to get rid of the flower. I want you happy, but more than anything, I want you safe.”_

* * *

**_“This was my fault,”_**  Sana weeps, hiding her face in her hands.  ** _“I- I’m so sorry. I should’ve realized, I should’ve stopped you… I should’ve encouraged Yuta to confess to you, Tyong... I should've... I should've...!”_**

Taeyong realizes now, that the strange flashbacks he’s had for the past few months have involved Sana as well… that’s right.

Yuta had introduced him to Sana. Sana, who he viewed preciously, as a younger sister. Taeyong’s heart hurts, thinking back to the past year, when he had completely wiped his ‘Sana-ko’ from his memories, even though back when he was in Japan, he would buy her treats just to see her eyes light up.

So he forgot Sana because he technically had forgotten Yuta. But… Taeyong frowned.

“But why did  _I_  lose my memories too? Why-?”

“You chose to,” Ahyoomee speaks up. “You requested the surgery to remove the flower from the root.”

“Wh- Why would I choose to do that?!” Taeyong’s eyes widen and Ahyoomee sighs.

“You… The reason you returned to Korea was to get the surgery done. On the paperwork, you marked that you wanted to fully forget the hanahaki had even happened, and the cause of hanahaki.”

“But… So…”

“Taeyong, I don’t think you understand,” Ahyoomee says softly. “You… You don’t understand just how deeply you loved him. You came to Korea to forget, and you decided to forget him so he could… you said you would let him ‘be happy without you’. If you didn't forget him... I think you would've still had some trauma of heartbreak left in you.”

“So what brought his memories back?” Yuta speaks up, not making eye contact with the Korean man. Ahyoomee purses her lips.

“I have to think…” she says pensively. “It’s probably because Taeyong saw Sana-chan. Doctors warn against things like this when patients get the hanahaki surgery. If they see something that triggers memories, it would force the person to recall everything.”

“I don’t… I don’t understand,” Taeyong licks his dry lips, head spinning. Ahyoomee nods.

“Think of it like this. The surgery happened to make you forget about Yuta-kun, right? But you spent almost four years with him in Osaka. The surgery can’t wipe a full four years from your brain, there would just be blank space. The surgery is there to just hide Nakamoto Yuta from your brain, not Osaka and the people who were there. Sana-chan was technically someone you met and was friends with in that four years as well.”

“But I remember her now,” Taeyong says in a small voice and Ahyoomee nods.

“Seeing Sana-chan triggered your memories of Yuta to resurface. I guess it makes sense – your brain was thrown for a loop. You knew Sana-chan for sure. You spent four years with her. But how did you know her? Because Yuta introduced you. It’s similar to being in a dream and when you realize something’s wrong. You know it’s wrong because of so-and-so reason, and so you realize it’s a dream, and so you wake up.”

“Noona… how do you…?” Taeyong just stares and Lee Ahyoomee smiles wanly.

“You’re my brother, Taeyong. Even though we didn’t grow up together, I don’t think you understand how scared I was when you told me you were going to do this surgery. There was so much that could go wrong, so I researched.”

“Noona…” is all Taeyong can say, touched. He knows, as a singer, his sister doesn’t have a lot of free time, so to know that she spent so much of it because of him... Taeyong can only give her a grateful look.

There’s silence, until finally, Yuta speaks up again.

“So… So what now?”

Taeyong starts when he sees Yuta  _glaring_  at him.

“Wh- Why are you mad at me!?” he asks defensively, and winces when Yuta punches his shoulder none-too-gently.

“Why were our past selves so  _stupid_!?” Yuta yells and Taeyong can only gape (Sana and Ahyoomee are similarly gaping). “So we loved each other, only to forget each other and now we’ve met  _again_  and… and we’re just back to where we started!”

Taeyong squares his shoulders. “Well, I missed my opportunity already once. I like you, Nakamoto Yuta.”

“Wh- Don’t say that just because you didn’t get to before!” Yuta shouts, but Taeyong can see the Japanese man’s pupils trembling. Taeyong doesn’t say anything in response, simply lacing his fingers through Yuta’s and walking out, gently guiding him to follow.

“H- Hey! Hey, wait, wha-?!” Yuta doesn’t struggle against the hand, but looks at Sana and Ahyoomee in confusion and slight panic. Sana has stopped crying and when she sees their intertwined hands, a small smile, like a thin ray of sunlight through gray clouds, shines through.

It’s when Yuta sees that radiant smile on his childhood’s friend’s face, that he decides to give in to Taeyong and see where the Korean man is leading him.

* * *

To Yuta’s surprise, Taeyong guides him into his car and without a word, begins to drive. Yuta hates,  _hates_  this awkward feeling, and speaks up.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” is all the Korean man says and Yuta gnashes his teeth.

“Oh  _come_  on! You can’t seriously-!”

“You’re right.”

Yuta falls silent when he suddenly realizes that Taeyong is clutching the steering wheel of his car so firmly, his knuckles are turning white. Even though he looked so put together earlier, Yuta now notices that Taeyong is anything but okay.

“We were  ** _stupid_ ,**” Taeyong hisses, and Yuta politely looks away when he sees tears of frustration brimming in Taeyong’s eyes. “I know you don’t remember, but I do now. I remember how upset I was, how tortured I felt over thinking you would never feel the same way about me. And now I feel like I just wasted four years for absolutely nothing, if I had just chosen to stop being a coward and confess to you.”

Yuta looks down at his hands, feeling glad he can’t remember. Even though he doesn’t remember the past, there’s no denying the fact that he’s already grown attracted,  _attached_ , to the handsome Korean man.

Taeyong pulls up to a lovely Japanese restaurant, one that Yuta knows he could never afford himself.

“Taey-”

“Come on.”

Yuta follows Taeyong in, where Taeyong speaks with the hostess, and she nods, guiding them to a reserved spot towards the back of the restaurant. Yuta wordlessly sinks to the floor, sitting at the low table across from Taeyong, who keeps his head down.

Yuta looks around – the room is empty, and he gapes, before he turns to Taeyong.

“I know what you’re thinking,” the Korean man looks up seriously. “And I wish I could say I did, but… no. I did not rent this place out. It’s just a slow night.”

Yuta just stares and Taeyong stares right back… until the Japanese man can’t help it, and bursts into loud laughs. Taeyong grins at him and Yuta feels a strange sense of freedom flutter in his heart, relieved that Taeyong no longer looks so upset.

He  _wants_  this. He wants Taeyong to be happy and never upset, and relaxed, and… Yuta doesn’t want to ever see Taeyong upset again.

They’re broken out of their thoughts when food begins to come to their table, and Yuta blinks.

“Wait, we didn’t order anything, how-?”

“I know you didn’t believe me back in the hotel room,” Taeyong speaks up, voice trembling, but his gaze firm. “I meant it when I said I like you. I… It’s good that we met casually this time, and we’re older now. I’m not such a coward anymore. I planned this out originally today. I really was going to ask you out.”

“You-”

Yuta’s cheeks grow red when he sees the okonomiyaki in front of him. The sauce has been put in the shape of a heart. He looks up, expression bland.

“Seriously?”

“What? I thought it was romantic,” Taeyong says defensively, unable to stop his ears from turning red. Yuta can only laugh when a plate of takoyaki comes out, and on each ball, it’s written in sauce, painstakingly:

**_Please go out with me, Nakamoto Yuta._ **

“You don’t think…” Yuta hesitates. “You don’t think we have too much history?”

He voices the inner concern, trembling, but Taeyong smiles back at him so gently, Yuta doesn’t feel worried anymore.

“I don’t care if you don’t. Let’s remember our history together.”

And Yuta lets himself fall, ready to do it all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Message me with any ideas on [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/tapeu_127)!


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